Lost track!!!

Lost track!!!

I'm off track, I'm lost track.... I cannot tell the different of my path..... The right and the wrong path!!! GOD!!! If you are out there somewhere, please hit my coconut brain...... And let me think of the solutions or answers.....

I totally don't understand myself anymore.... Just because of this job, Why should I do the things that I don't want to? Why should I follow the way of other? The way of how the people do, and when I know it's wrong but I need to follow them too? Why should I go against my own will? Where is my self-conscious? Although it does not hurt or harm anyone... But why should I deliberate, and intent to lie to people and at the same time I'm lying to myself?

How differently am I from the another people out there? All the while I always say thing directly.... Good mean good, Bad mean bad... Be it to my family, my friends or people around... I don't like to twist the words or play lying mind game.... I am alway who I am..... But now..... I am who I am????

I don't see what wrong with not telling lie? And why should I lie?

I'm must admit that I'm a good talker at times... But I'm not a good sale person... Because I hate lying!!!!! Cause I don't like and I feel so uneasy while I'm telling each and every lie, Even if it is a sale talk lie........ It's like going against my own rule, will and self-conscious..... =(

I'm so SAD & TIRED!!!!~ I HATE TELLING LIE!!!! =(